What Did You Love Before Life Got in the Way?
There comes a point in many women’s lives when the question changes.
For years, it might have been: What do my kids need? What does my family need? What does my boss need? What needs to get done today?
Then suddenly, maybe after the kids leave home, a divorce, a career change, or simply reaching your 40s or 50s, there’s a different question waiting for you.
What do I want?
That question sounds simple until you actually try to answer it.
For some women, it has been so long since they thought about their own interests, ambitions, and passions that they genuinely don’t know anymore. They know they want something more. They know they aren’t finished. They may even feel excited about their next chapter.
They just have no idea what that chapter is supposed to look like.
That’s exactly why I loved my conversation with Renee Carbone Fleming, also known as the Hype Girl in Heels. Renee is an entrepreneur, personal branding strategist, coach, and author who knows firsthand what it means to start over and build something new later in life.
Her entrepreneurial journey didn’t begin at 22.
It began after 40.
And many of the income streams she has today came after 50.
That alone should get the attention of any woman who has ever wondered whether she waited too long.
Because maybe the question isn’t whether it’s too late.
Maybe the better question is: What have you been learning, doing, experiencing, and loving all these years that could become the foundation for what you do next?
Your Next Chapter May Be Hiding in Your Past
During our conversation, Renee offered a question that I think is an incredibly powerful place to start:
What is something you could talk about endlessly without ever getting paid for it?
Think about that.
What topic gets you going the second someone brings it up?
Maybe you know everything about skincare. Maybe you love interior design. Maybe you could plan a European vacation in your sleep. Maybe you know fashion, photography, gardening, entertaining, fitness, dogs, decorating, cooking, jewelry, organization, or something completely different.
We tend to dismiss the things that come naturally to us because they feel easy.
We think, Everybody knows this.
They don’t.
Or we think, Nobody would pay me for that.
Maybe they would.
The things we know well can feel ordinary because we’ve lived with that knowledge for years. But what is obvious to you may be incredibly valuable to someone else.
That’s why I took Renee’s question one step further during our conversation.
I suggested going all the way back to your teenage years.
What did you love when you were 16?
Before the job.
Before the mortgage.
Before marriage and kids and schedules and responsibilities.
What did you naturally gravitate toward?
Maybe you loved taking pictures. Maybe you painted. Maybe you made jewelry. Maybe you wrote stories. Maybe you loved clothes and could put together an outfit better than anyone you knew.
There may be clues sitting in your past that you’ve never considered relevant to your future.
When Did You Stop Doing What You Loved?
Life has a way of getting busy.
We don’t necessarily decide to give up the things we love. Sometimes they simply get pushed further and further down the list.
A hobby becomes something we’ll get back to someday.
A dream becomes impractical.
An interest becomes something we don’t have time for.
Then twenty or thirty years pass.
That’s why I think revisiting the person you were before all the responsibilities arrived can be so revealing.
This isn’t about trying to become 16 again.
It’s about remembering her.
What excited her? What did she lose track of? What did she imagine doing before someone told her it wasn’t practical?
Those answers may tell you something about what is missing now.
And unlike when we were teenagers, women in their 40s, 50s, and beyond have something incredibly valuable to pair with those early passions.
Experience.
We’ve solved problems, developed relationships, experienced success and failure, raised families, navigated careers, managed households, cared for people, traveled, learned new skills, and figured things out when there was no instruction manual.
That experience has value.
You Don’t Have to Reinvent Yourself From Scratch
We use the word “reinvention” a lot, including on Living Ageless & Bold.
But reinvention doesn’t always mean becoming an entirely different person.
Sometimes it’s the opposite.
Sometimes reinvention is getting back to the person you were before life told you who you were supposed to be.
If you’re sitting there thinking, I want to do something, but I have absolutely no idea what, you don’t necessarily need to invent a brilliant new concept.
Start with what you already know.
Start with what people already ask you about.
Start with the things you could discuss for hours.
Start with the skills you’ve accumulated without realizing they were marketable.
Then ask a different question:
How could this become something?
A consulting service. A product. A book. Content. Affiliate income. A podcast. A course. Freelance work. A service business.
The goal at the beginning isn’t to have every detail mapped out.
It’s to recognize that there may be possibilities where you’ve never looked for them before.
AI Can Help You Rediscover What You’ve Forgotten
This is where today’s technology gives women an advantage we didn’t have even a few years ago.
During the interview, I brought up using ChatGPT or another AI tool as a way to walk back through your life and identify patterns.
You could start with questions like:
What did I love doing when I was 16?
What was I naturally good at in college?
What do my friends always ask me for help with?
What part of my career did I enjoy most?
What would I spend more time doing if money weren’t an issue?
What can I talk about endlessly?
Then start looking for connections.
AI isn’t going to magically hand you your perfect business.
But it can help you ask better questions, see patterns, and brainstorm ways a skill or interest could translate into a service, product, content niche, or business idea.
For a woman who has spent decades focused on everyone else’s needs, simply having a tool help her explore her own interests can be a powerful starting point.
The technology isn’t the reinvention.
You are.
Starting After 40 Is Not Starting Late
One of the biggest misconceptions about entrepreneurship is that it’s a young person’s game.
Renee’s story challenges that completely.
She began her entrepreneurial journey after 40, and she has continued adding new opportunities and income streams after 50.
Women at this stage of life often underestimate what they bring to the table. We look at younger people building businesses online and think they have an advantage because they understand technology better or started earlier.
But women over 40 and 50 have decades of lived experience, professional expertise, life skills, networks, perspective, and often a much clearer understanding of what we do and do not want.
You aren’t starting from zero just because you’re starting something new.
You’re bringing everything you’ve learned with you.
Her Response to Doubt Was “Watch Me”
Renee’s own reinvention wasn’t born from perfect circumstances.
It came during a difficult chapter in her life.
After divorce, she needed to become financially independent and create a different future for herself. There were people who didn’t believe she could do it.
Instead of allowing their doubts to become her beliefs, Renee turned them into motivation.
She put two words on Post-it notes around her office:
Watch me.
I love that.
Not because I think we should build our lives around proving other people wrong, but because sometimes someone else’s doubt can wake something up inside us.
There comes a moment when you decide:
I’m not going to let someone else’s opinion determine what I’m capable of.
I’m not going to let my age decide.
I’m not going to let my past decide.
I’m not going to let fear decide.
Watch me.
Stop Waiting for Everyone Else to Understand
Fear of what other people think can be one of the biggest obstacles to reinvention.
What will my friends think?
What will my family say?
What if people think this is ridiculous?
What if I put myself out there and fail?
But there’s another question worth asking.
What if it works?
At some point, we have to decide whose life we’re living.
The people around you don’t have to understand your vision before you begin. They aren’t the ones who have to wake up every morning wondering what might have happened if they’d tried.
By this stage of life, haven’t we earned the right to stop making every decision based on whether someone else approves?
You don’t need everyone to like what you’re doing.
You need to reach the people who connect with it.
Your Experience Has a Price
Women have an incredible tendency to discount themselves.
We give away advice. We undercharge. We think something didn’t take us very long, so it couldn’t possibly be worth very much.
But what if it only took you an hour because you spent 25 years learning how to do it?
People aren’t only paying for the hour.
They’re paying for the experience that made the hour possible.
What do you know? What problem can you solve? What transformation can you help someone create?
And what is that worth?
You don’t have to apologize for charging for your expertise. You don’t have to make yourself the least expensive option. And you don’t have to wait until you feel 100 percent confident before recognizing that what you know has value.
Don’t Try to Build Everything at Once
Once you realize you have something you could turn into a business, it’s easy to jump ahead.
A website. A podcast. A book. A course. Consulting. Speaking. Products. Social media.
Suddenly, the exciting idea you had five minutes ago feels completely overwhelming.
Renee’s advice is much simpler.
Start with one thing.
Get good at it. Learn what works. Understand what people actually want from you. Then build from there.
Renee has multiple income streams today, but she didn’t create them all at once. And that’s an important lesson for anyone starting something new.
You don’t need to know what your entire business will look like five years from now.
You need to know what you’re going to start with.
Your Personal Brand Is Already There
Renee also helps women understand the importance of personal branding, and I think this is an area where people often overcomplicate things.
Your personal brand isn’t your logo.
It isn’t your color palette.
It’s what people think of when they think of you.
What do you know? What do you stand for? Who do you help? Why would someone choose you?
Renee calls herself the Hype Girl in Heels. Before you ever meet her, that tells you something. She’s energetic, encouraging, bold, fun, and completely herself.
She isn’t trying to appeal to everyone.
Neither should you.
For women who have spent decades fitting into professional roles or meeting other people’s expectations, allowing ourselves to be seen can feel uncomfortable.
But the right people can’t find you if you’re hiding everything that makes you different.
Financial Independence Creates Choices
There’s another layer to Renee’s story that goes beyond entrepreneurship.
Her business journey came after divorce and the realization that she needed to be financially independent.
Financial independence gives women choices.
That’s true whether you’re married, divorced, single, widowed, or happily partnered.
Having something of your own isn’t simply about making money.
It’s about knowing that you can.
And for women who stepped away from careers to raise families, today’s economy provides options that didn’t exist decades ago.
Returning to a traditional workplace isn’t the only path.
You can consult virtually. Create content. Work with brands. Write. Coach. Sell a product. Build a service business. Teach something you know.
You may be able to create something that works around the life you have now rather than trying to squeeze yourself back into the life you had at 30.
Maybe This Is Your “Watch Me” Chapter
If you’re reading this and thinking, This all sounds great, but I still don’t know what my thing is, go back to where we started.
What could you talk about endlessly without getting paid?
What did you love when you were younger?
What do people ask you for advice about?
What do people tell you you’re good at?
Don’t immediately dismiss your answers because they don’t sound like a business.
Get curious.
Could you teach it?
Create something around it?
Offer a service?
Solve a problem?
Share what you know?
You don’t have to launch anything tomorrow.
You just have to be willing to explore what’s possible.
And maybe this is your own Watch Me chapter.
Maybe you’re saying it to the person who told you starting over at 50 was unrealistic.
Maybe you’re saying it to a culture obsessed with youth.
Or maybe you’re saying it to yourself.
Because your next chapter doesn’t need anyone else’s permission.
What Did You Love Before Life Got in the Way?
Maybe reinvention doesn’t begin with asking what you should do next.
Maybe it begins by remembering what you loved before you got so busy doing everything you were supposed to do.
There might be a piece of yourself waiting there.
A talent you dismissed.
An interest you abandoned.
An expertise you never realized was valuable.
A dream you decided wasn’t practical.
You don’t have to recreate your younger self.
You get to take the best parts of her and combine them with everything you’ve learned since.
That’s the advantage of starting now.
You have the curiosity of the woman you were and the wisdom of the woman you’ve become.
So I’ll leave you with the question that started this entire conversation:
What did you love before life got in the way?
Your answer might be more important than you think.
Listen to my full conversation with Renee Carbone Fleming, the Hype Girl in Heels, on Living Ageless & Bold wherever you get your podcasts.
Your next chapter is yours.
Go see what you can build.
Watch her episode here:
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