“God Has My Six”: How Malaysia Harrell Transformed Her Pain into Purpose After Military Retirement

What does it look like to walk away from a 20-year military career and suddenly not recognize who you are anymore? For Malaysia Harrell, retirement wasn’t the peaceful, celebratory milestone many expect, it was a full-blown identity crisis. After dedicating two decades of her life to structure, purpose, and service, she found herself waking up one day with no uniform, no title, and no clear direction. “I didn’t know who I was,” she admits.

In this powerful podcast episode, Malaysia opens up about the silent struggles so many high-performing women face when the roles they’ve clung to disappear. From sitting in silence and confronting buried trauma, to falling to her knees and asking God for help, Malaysia shares the deeply personal truth behind her healing. Her journey is not just one of survival, it’s one of spiritual awakening, self-discovery, and transformation.

Through raw honesty and unwavering faith, she reveals how she turned a painful breakdown into a purpose-driven breakthrough. She didn’t just heal for herself, she rose to help other women do the same. Whether you’re navigating a major life change, questioning your identity beyond your career, or longing to reconnect with your true self, Malaysia’s story will resonate deeply. Her vulnerability, resilience, and spiritual insight offer more than just inspiration; they offer a roadmap to healing and becoming whole again.

From Service to Searching: The Hard Truth About Retirement

After serving 20 years in the military, Malaysia Harrell found herself at a life-altering crossroads. She had spent two decades in uniform, carrying rank, responsibility, and the immense pride that comes from a life of service. Her days were structured, her role was respected, and her identity was clear. But when that chapter ended, so did the sense of certainty that had grounded her for so long.

“You wake up and you’re no longer this person that you’ve known yourself to be for 20 years,” she shares. “It was an identity crisis.” That abrupt shift, from being a captain and someone tied to the structure of the military, to suddenly becoming “Joe Schmoe,” as she put it, was deeply disorienting. The titles were gone. The sense of contribution felt distant. And the reality of no longer being “in uniform” left her questioning everything.

This wasn’t just about a job ending, it was a spiritual and emotional rupture. Malaysia described the feeling as being stuck between two worlds: the one she had dedicated herself to, and the unknown one ahead that felt foreign and unclear. “I thought I had ten more years in me,” she confessed. But life had other plans. A serious illness and a near-death experience ultimately led to her medical retirement. While she survived the health crisis, the emotional weight of losing her professional identity lingered.

“I went from waking up every morning and having a plan… to now, I’m just floating,” she says. “I didn’t know who I was.” That sense of floating was more than disconnection, it was grief. She grieved the role, the people, the impact, and the life she had known. And with that grief came a haunting question: What now?

In that silence, Malaysia was forced to face herself, not the version she had been in service to others, but the woman behind the rank. It was the beginning of a painful, profound, and ultimately beautiful journey back to her true self.

From Breakdown to Breakthrough: When Stillness Forces You to See Yourself

For Malaysia, retirement didn’t feel like relief—it felt like a breakdown. The stillness that came with stepping away from a demanding military lifestyle wasn’t peaceful. It was unsettling. There was no structure, no urgency, no one telling her where to be and what to do. And in that stillness, all the emotions she had pushed aside for years started to surface.

“I didn’t even know I had wounds,” she reflects. “I had no clue because I was so busy just doing what I had to do.”

The military had kept her moving, always focused on the mission. But without that mission, Malaysia realized she had never truly stopped to feel. The pace of her life had numbed her to her own pain. She had mastered the art of pushing forward, of being the strong one, the leader, the fixer. But in retirement, all of that came crashing down.

“I was having an identity crisis, a spiritual breakdown, and a mental health spiral, all at the same time,” she shares. Her tone is raw and honest, free of sugarcoating. She talks about days when she felt like she was “just existing,” and how difficult it was to admit to herself that she was struggling.

This was the point where many people either numb themselves further, or begin the hard work of healing. Malaysia chose the latter.

It wasn’t an instant decision. It came in waves, moments of clarity followed by tears, resistance, and fear. But she started asking herself deeper questions: Who am I outside of the military? What am I called to do now? What do I actually need to heal from?

And in asking those questions, she began to peel back layers she didn’t even know existed.

“I was just so used to being everything for everyone. But who was that for me?”

That question was the beginning of her breakthrough.

The Spiritual Awakening That Changed Everything

As Malaysia sat in the stillness of her post-retirement life, she began to notice a quiet pull, something deep within her nudging her toward healing. But it wasn’t a therapist, a book, or a plan that led her there. It was her spirit. It was God.

“I had to sit with myself and listen to what God was trying to tell me,” she says.

This wasn’t a gentle whisper; it was a spiritual awakening that came with tears, questions, and moments of surrender. Malaysia describes breaking down in the car, crying in solitude, and wondering why she was feeling so heavy. And as she began to talk to God, not just the surface-level prayers, but real, raw conversations—she realized that her soul was asking for attention.

“I was doing all the things on the outside, but my soul was bankrupt.”

That soul-deep awareness changed the trajectory of her life. It gave her permission to stop performing and start being. She stopped trying to fix everyone else and turned inward to begin fixing herself.

Malaysia realized she had never really dealt with the wounds she carried. She had never grieved the parts of herself she lost in service. She had never questioned why she constantly needed to prove her worth or hold everything together. But now, with silence as her companion and faith as her guide, she began the messy but sacred process of healing.

“It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But it was necessary.”

Her voice is filled with truth; there was no glamorous transformation montage, no sudden epiphany that made everything easy. It was daily, intentional, and at times, painful. But it was also beautiful.

Through prayer, meditation, and honest self-reflection, Malaysia began to reconnect with herself, not the version the military shaped, but the woman she was created to be. A woman who didn’t need a title or a uniform to be worthy. A woman who could live from a place of truth, not just duty.

And in that sacred rediscovery, her mission became clear: she wasn’t just healing for herself. She was healing so she could help others do the same.

Realizing the Power of Her Pain

As Malaysia leaned into her healing, she realized that what she was going through wasn’t unique. So many women, especially high-achieving women, were also struggling. They were operating on autopilot, checking boxes, climbing ladders, raising families, but inside, they felt empty.

“I realized a lot of us were carrying trauma and didn’t even know it,” she says. “We’re walking around functioning but wounded.”

That insight changed everything. Malaysia knew she had to do something with her experience. She wanted to help other women feel seen, validated, and supported in their healing journeys. And so, a calling began to form—one that would turn into a business, a book, and a mission.

Creating a Space for Women to Heal: The Birth of Her Business

Malaysia’s business didn’t start with a logo or a website. It started with a vision: to create safe spaces for women to be vulnerable, honest, and free. Her focus is not on surface-level fixes but on deep, spiritual alignment.

“What I do is help women get back in alignment with who they really are,” she explains. “We start stripping away all the titles, all the things people said we were, and we get to the root of who you are.”

Through one-on-one coaching, retreats, and speaking engagements, Malaysia empowers women to unpack their emotional baggage and reconnect with their authentic selves.

Her approach is deeply rooted in empathy, lived experience, and faith. She doesn’t preach from a pedestal. She walks alongside her clients, because she’s been there, too.

The Book That Changed Lives: God Has My Six

Malaysia’s healing journey also led her to write a book: God Has My Six. The title is more than a catchphrase, it’s a reflection of her faith and the support she felt during her darkest moments. In military terms, “I’ve got your six” means “I’ve got your back.” Malaysia says that’s exactly what God did for her.

“I was in a place where I didn’t know who I was or where I was going,” she says. “And God literally had my back.”

The book is filled with personal stories, reflections, and spiritual insights. It offers comfort to anyone walking through a hard season and serves as a guide for those looking to reconnect with their faith and purpose.

Her mission is clear: God Has My Six is about restoring the whole woman, mind, body, and spirit. It’s about teaching women that they don’t have to be strong all the time, and that true strength sometimes looks like surrender. It’s about reminding them that their value is not tied to their productivity, titles, or external achievements.

And most importantly, it’s about letting God lead.

“I don’t have all the answers, but I know who does,” Malaysia says. “And when I stopped trying to control everything and let Him in, that’s when everything changed.”

She shares how so many women walk around with emotional scars, wearing masks to hide their pain. They perform for approval, hustle for their worth, and neglect themselves in the process. Malaysia sees them because she was them. But now, she’s a guide on the other side, inviting women to put down their burdens and pick up their peace.

“It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being real. And letting healing happen in that realness.”

Final Thoughts

Malaysia Harrell’s story is one of courage, faith, and transformation. She didn’t just retire, she reinvented herself. She didn’t just heal, she became a healer. And she didn’t just find her voice, she now uses it to uplift others.

If you’ve been feeling lost, stuck, or uncertain, let Malaysia’s journey remind you: Your breakdown could be the beginning of your breakthrough. You don’t need all the answers today. You just need to be willing to take the next step.

As Malaysia continues to empower women through her work, she reminds us all that the key to living a fulfilling life is not found in the titles we hold or the roles we play but in the deep connection we cultivate with ourselves. Whether you’re struggling to find your identity after a major transition or simply looking for inspiration to live a more purposeful life, Malaysia’s story is a beacon of hope and encouragement. It’s never too late to reinvent yourself, heal from past wounds, and embrace the endless possibilities that lie ahead.

Because, as Malaysia beautifully puts it, God’s got your six.

Watch the full episode here: