"And Now Back to Me”: Rita Lussier on Rediscovering Identity Through the Empty Nest and Caregiving Years - Christina Daves

Life as a parent doesn’t stop when the kids leave the nest — in fact, for many, it’s just the beginning of a new, often unexpected chapter filled with fresh challenges and opportunities. If you’re caught in between balancing the needs of your adult children while stepping up as a caregiver to aging parents, all while trying to hold onto your own sense of identity and joy.

Rita Lussier’s journey is one marked by a rich and varied career that spans decades of writing, editing, and caregiving advocacy. As a seasoned columnist and essayist, Rita has contributed thoughtful pieces to numerous publications, honing a voice that blends honesty, humor, and heartfelt insight. In this enlightening conversation, Rita Lussier shares her authentic journey through these overlapping roles — the joys, the heartaches, and the lessons learned along the way. From navigating the emotional rollercoaster of sending her kids off to college to facing the tough realities of Alzheimer’s care for her mother, Rita’s story is a powerful reminder that you’re not alone in this complex, often overwhelming season of life.

Her resilience makes this episode a must-listen for anyone feeling stretched thin, searching for guidance, or simply needing to hear that it’s okay to feel all the feelings, from grief to gratitude. Plus, Rita’s new book offers an inviting, accessible space for readers to reflect on their own experiences and find community.

If you’re ready to be inspired by a story of courage and connection, and to gain practical wisdom for thriving in the sandwich generation, this blog post will walk you through the highlights of Rita’s journey and the powerful takeaways that can help you reclaim balance and peace.

From College Challenges to Caregiving: Real-Life Balancing Act

Rita Lussier’s story is a compelling glimpse into the modern experience many parents face — juggling the demands of adult children, aging parents, and their own evolving identity. Throughout the conversation, Rita’s qualities of resilience, empathy, and openness shine through, making her journey not only relatable but inspiring.

Like many parents, Rita recalls the bittersweet moment when her children left for college. The initial excitement quickly mixed with worry and adjustment, especially as she recalls her son’s freshman year in Washington DC, where independence also meant navigating newfound responsibilities — and a reluctance to stay in touch.

Rita’s story mirrors what many parents know all too well: the push-pull of letting go while still wanting to protect and connect. She shared how she once had to reach out to her son’s school security when she couldn’t reach him, a moment many parents might find familiar and a little humorous in hindsight.

The Heartache and Strength of Caring for Aging Parents

Rita’s journey takes on a heavier, more poignant tone as she opens up about her mother’s gradual decline due to Alzheimer’s disease. She candidly admits she was in denial at first, a feeling many caregivers can deeply understand. Watching a loved one slip away slowly is a heart-wrenching process.

Despite the challenges, Rita’s family rallied with grace. Her father cared for her mother at home for as long as possible, with Rita and her sister stepping in to support and provide respite. The emotional weight of caregiving is evident, yet so is the gratitude Rita expresses for the moments she shared with her mother during those difficult years.

Her ability to balance caregiving with family life — even while her sister juggled a full-time job — speaks to Rita’s resilience and compassion. She openly shares the highs and lows, illustrating how caregiving reshaped her life and perspective.

The Emotional Truth of the Empty Nest

Throughout the podcast, Rita Lussier delves into the layered emotional landscape that defines this season of life. One where parenting duties shift, caregiving responsibilities for aging parents intensify, and the once-familiar rhythms of daily life begin to change. Rita speaks candidly about the emotional weight of this transition, offering language and reflection for those navigating what is often called the “sandwich generation.”

She challenges the assumption that launching children into adulthood brings instant relief or a carefree new chapter. “The idea that you’re just going to feel this lightness and sense of freedom when your kids leave is… not exactly accurate,” she reflects. Instead, it can feel more like a vacuum, a disorienting silence that catches many parents off guard.

Rita shares the experience of a friend who had just dropped off her youngest child at college. Returning home, this friend found herself unable to leave her child’s empty bedroom for days — a response not uncommon, but rarely spoken about openly. It’s a moment that underscores the quiet grief and identity shift that can come with the empty nest. By bringing this story into the light, Rita helps normalize the sadness and sense of loss that can accompany this phase, reminding listeners that their emotional responses are not only valid but shared by many.

The conversation also highlights the simultaneous pressures of caring for aging parents, a dual-role dynamic that often leaves little space for self-reflection or rest. Rita doesn’t shy away from describing how emotionally complex it was to be “in the middle of it” while managing everything else in life. This duality of parenting children while becoming a caregiver to parents adds a profound emotional and logistical challenge, one that Rita experienced firsthand and channels into her essays.

Writing Through Pain: And Now Back to Me as a Beacon for Others

Rita Lussier’s journey into writing And Now Back to Me was deeply personal, rooted in necessity, not ambition. As she shared during the podcast, the book came out of “a really hard chapter in my life,” when she was going through multiple transitions, including grieving the loss of both her parents, going through a divorce, and navigating the complexities of being a parent herself.

She found herself in the often-overlooked role of caring for both her children and her aging parents at the same time. It was an intense and overwhelming experience, and writing became a vital way for her to process what she was going through. As she described, “it was the only thing that I knew how to do to survive it.”

And Now Back to Me is a collection of essays, each written as a standalone piece. This format was intentional. Rita mentioned she was writing in “little bits and pieces” as she could, capturing moments as they happened. Each essay reflects its own emotional moment, and readers can dip in and out, finding resonance in whichever piece reflects their own experience.

For Rita, writing the book was not just about telling her story, but about “making meaning of pain.” She described it as her “way through” a time that could have otherwise broken her. Even though the essays are personal, the emotions — the grief, the exhaustion, the love, the frustration — are widely shared. And that’s what has made the book resonate with so many.

Looking Forward: Life Beyond Caregiving and Parenting

While the work of promoting her book And Now Back to Me is still front and center, Rita spoke with a refreshing blend of realism and optimism about what lies ahead.

Right now, she is in the thick of sharing her message. She mentioned how the whirlwind of her book launch has kept her busy, sometimes working seven days a week — but it’s a kind of busy that feels purposeful. There’s still so much to be done, and Rita is deeply committed to ensuring the book reaches those who need it most. The stories, essays, and reflections she poured into the book came from a deeply personal place, and the warm reception from readers has shown her that these stories resonate.

Looking beyond the current moment, Rita hinted at the possibility of future writing projects. While she hasn’t nailed down exactly what’s next, the enthusiasm in her voice was unmistakable when she talked about building on her past essays and perhaps exploring new directions. Her journey as a columnist writing pieces that eventually became the foundation of And Now Back to Me gives her a wellspring of ideas and lived experience to draw from. The stand-alone essay format of her book not only reflects her writing style but also her way of processing life in chapters, with clarity, humor, and grace.

Rita’s reflections aren’t about tying everything up neatly, but about allowing space for what comes next. She is living proof that life after the so-called “sandwich generation,” that season of overlapping responsibilities, doesn’t have to be defined by loss or aimlessness. It can be rich, creative, and full of moments that are deeply personal and fulfilling.

Through her story, she reminds listeners that even as roles shift and responsibilities lighten, identity doesn’t disappear — it evolves. And in Rita’s case, it expands into a future built on everything she’s lived, written, and shared.

Why Rita Lussier’s Story Matters to You

Rita’s journey is a mirror for so many who find themselves caught between caring for others and nurturing themselves. Her story is a blend of humor, heartache, perseverance, and hope. She doesn’t shy away from the tough realities, but she also highlights the unexpected joys and the importance of connection.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by caregiving duties, the empty nest, or just the sheer unpredictability of midlife, Rita’s book and this conversation offer comfort and community. You are not alone, and there is wisdom and support to guide you through.

Final Note

Rita Lussier’s journey is a testament to the power of storytelling — not just as a way to reflect on life’s challenges, but as a bridge to others walking similar paths. Through her essays, columns, and now her book And Now Back to Me, she gives voice to the quiet resilience so many carry.

Her honesty, humor, and compassion invite us all to pause, reflect, and reconnect with ourselves. Whether you’re in the thick of caregiving, adjusting to an empty nest, or simply seeking space to breathe, Rita’s words offer a gentle nudge: you’re not alone, and your story matters too.

Watch her full episode here: